I have just made a personal accomplishment that I think will relieve enough stress that I will gather strength in other areas of my life. Namely the area of eating. I wish it wasn’t necessary to eat to live, then all my problems would be solved. Yeah right. If it wasn’t food it would just be something else. I have a lot of OA reading material. Now, I just have to find the time to read it. I have a couple more ideas for blogs, but so far, I am not finding the time in a day to be able to work on them.
So, tomorrow I have to work on my other project at hand and hopefully I can get a little closer to following a food plan. I think I need to break my day into hours and try to follow my plan one hour at a time. I probably need to get all the nice colorful candy wrappers out of my trash can, so there is not a constant reminder of my life. Everyday is a new day and it brings a new chance to make decisions that will better my life.
Tags: Just for Today, food plan, OA, Overeaters Anonymous, Twelve Step program
I figured I better write this before I do something stupid. Sugar being one of my big weaknesses, I am trying to abstain from candy especially. My eating of candy has long past the compulsive stage. The girls in the office try to help me stay away from certain things, but they will also bring the same things I am trying to stay away from, because they think these foods make me happy. And honestly, some days they do.
This morning, I feel I have been blessed with the ability to get through the day without having to indulge in these certain foods. The girls know that the candy “nerds” are one of my favorites, probably because they are nothing but pure sugar. We have been out of nerds for a while. It is 8am in the morning and one of the ladies just called me to inform me that they have replenished their supply of nerds. And that does not mean that they have just a few. That means they have a five pound bag of my favorite sweets.
I could really use some experience, strength and hope about now. For the moment, I seem to be okay. It is the afternoons that I seem to be at my weakest.
Tags: Just for Today, recovery, OA, Overeaters Anonymous, Twelve Step program
After last night’s meeting, I am feeling inspired and like their is a chance for me to find peace and serenity. That is half the battle in my opinion. As long as I am not always in conflict with yourself, some of the other things my life will fall into place. I by no means had a perfect or even good day on my food plan, but I had a better day. If I can make tomorrow even better, slowly, I will get there, one day at a time.
I have decided that the less time I spend obsessing over food and trying to be perfect, the better it will be for me and for my program. I have also decided not to weigh myself for a while. Weighing myself 3 or 4 times a week is obsessing. I find that if I weigh myself and see a decent weight loss, that in itself gives me permission to loosen up on my food plan a little. And a little usually turns out to be a lot. I am going to try to read one story of recovery and make one phone call tonight.
Tags: Just for Today, recovery, OA, Overeaters Anonymous, Twelve Step program
I attended a new OA meeting this evening and met some great people with lots of recovery. There was a lot of discussion about abstinence and the food plan. These are two topics am very uncertain of. I guess I had a preconceived notion about what abstinence was, but I beginning to believe that abstinence has a different meaning to everyone.
I had that idea that being abstinence met never touching sugar or refined flour and someday that may be what it is for me. I would just settle for being abstinent from my compulsive behaviors. There was also mention of not eating the same thing several days in a row and I never really thought of it that way.
I also heard a lot about a morning routine that involves meditation and recovery study. Someone also mention making a list of foods you have binged on and foods that you have never binged on. This sounds like an interesting exercise and one that I will do tomorrow. I also picked up some reading material that I think will help me during temptation. I must also learn to pickup the phone regularly and during rough times. I need to start by making a phone call tomorrow.
I see my goals changing as I begin to work the program, but I did meet one of my goals by going to an additional meeting this week. My sponsor told me I need to go to more than that and I know she is right.
Tags: Just for Today, recovery, OA, Overeaters Anonymous, Twelve Step program
Well, it is time for the weekly goals. Since I did not do so well with lasts weeks goals, this weeks goals will be the same as last weeks. I took a class about 2 years ago where we set weekly goals and when you did not meet those goals, you either left your goals the same or reduced the goals.
I feel these goals are simple enough that I should be able to achieve them. I also feel these goals are so important that I do not want to move on until I have accomplished these goals, at least partially. So once again, here are my weekly goals.
1. I will have more contact with my OA sponsor. This is an area I am falling short in. She has done what I have not been able to do yet and she can help me with her experience, strength and hope.
2. No eating in front of the screen. I have a habit of eating in front of my computer and the TV. I know this leads to mindless eating, especially if you are eating from a container that has more than 1 serving.
3. Keep a food journal. Ideally, I would like to do this 7 days a week, but 5 days is probably more realistic. Keeping a journal should make me more aware of what I am eating and if there are any emotions involved with that eating.
4. Add an extra meeting to my weekly schedule. I seem to feel like I have a better chance of succeeding after I attend a meeting. I am hoping that attending more meetings will help me feel optimistic more often. Even if it doesn’t, I have never known attending a meeting to do any harm.
I will have updates on this through the week and next Sunday.
Tags: Overeaters Anonymous, OA, healthy eating, weight loss goals
Okay, so I have already done what I said I was not going to do. I had a Kit Kat bar. I know it is not the end of the world, but the trick is not to beat myself up over it and move forward. This is usually the point in the day when I write the whole day off and eat as much as I want of whatever I want. Hopefully, I can draw on some of my resources and find the strength to not have to follow those destructive behaviors.
Tags: Overeaters Anonymous, OA, healthy eating, dieting
Accepting the fact that I am a compulsive overeater has not been an easy journey and I don’t think I am at my destination yet. I just have not accepted that some of the foods that I enjoy the most will have to be eliminated from my diet forever. But the reason any Twelve Step program takes things one day at a time is because, most people cannot comprehend forever. On the other hand if you knew you would only have to give your favorite food up for one day, that goal would be attainable.
So just for today, I will abstain from overeating. I know that as long as I don’t get started eating foods I obsess over, I don’t have to worry about how much I am going to eat.
The other day I was watching the Oprah show and she had a famous organizer as her guest. He made a remark about clutter and obesity going hand in hand. I am inclined to believe him. If you listen to people that have gained weight later in life, many of them will talk about a specific event that started their eating to spin out of control. I am also included in this group of people. Personally, I feel much better and like I can be more productive if I am in a neat, clutter free environment. The sad thing is that it only takes about 15-30 minutes a day to keep our space clutter free, but many of us do not do it. I have decluttered an will try to remain that way throughout the week.